Friday, February 20, 2009

Happy Ending? Thanks, but No Thanks

A man-on-man scrubdown and bath never felt so good.

We three amigos decided to spend Thursday afternoon the same way the sultans of Istanbul used to spend their afternoons: by decompressing in a bath house (Hamam). After a quick lunch near the Hagia Sophia, we headed to the 300 year-old Cağaloğlu Hamamı. Named in the well-known 2003 travel book "1,000 Places to See Before You Die," the Cagaloglu is the most famous bath house in the city and did not disappoint.

The Sultans enjoyed scrub-downs from their beautiful concubines. We went a different route. After changing out of your clothes and donning only a towel (a very small towel), visitors to the Cagalogu spend 1o minutes relaxing in a hot and huge white marble domed steam room. The goal of the first ten minutes is to sweat, which loosens up the dirt on your skin in preparation for the bath. Then a massive Turk with imposing man breasts (Phil drew the short straw and got a skinny old man) massages you, rubs you down with a Turkish-style loofah before lathering you up with soap and rinsing you off with hot water. You finish up with a 10-15 minute session in a 110-degree sauna, rinse off again and then head back to the changing room to get dressed.













It was pricey (60-80 Lira + Tips to the man-breasted man-beasts) but worth it. The three of us emerged from the bath house feeling fresh and victorious. We'd like to say we closed our eyes and tried to imagine that the hulking man-hands of the massive masseurs really belonged to a lean and pretty masseuse, but we'd be lying. It just wouldn't have been the same.

2 comments:

Jordan Bloem said...

The picture of Scott is now the background on our computer! Thanks Scott!

Anonymous said...

Kelly will correct your spelling of "disappoint"...could have been worse..."Do a pis pint" comes to mind. Where are Wong's digitally enhanced 30x zoom pix of the man-breasts?

Silver Fox